how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize