I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize