I don't usually arrange sex via text message
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I understand Curling. That high.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
