ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
