i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
