I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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