So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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