Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
