OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize