I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
this beer tastes like vomit already
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
