I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
