To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
