I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
smell my finger.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
