I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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