i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
