that's an acceptable place to lick
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
