I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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