You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She's the barista slut.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
