I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
