Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
