Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
There r osticjed everywhere
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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