Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
