i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
