Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
do nipples grow back?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize