Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
