i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
