Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
tequila makes me forget i have legs
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize
