We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
