but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
