Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
