I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
