I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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