took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
