I love black thongs
one might say we're banned from that church
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
