what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize