And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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