Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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