Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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