She said her name was "party"
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
