you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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