Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize