I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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