i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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