Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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