I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
