there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
