he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize