if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
