three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize