i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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