I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
God, I missed his penis.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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