I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
