I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
