I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
