i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
