Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
