Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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