I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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