I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
