Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
