my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
