Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
