We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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