i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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