i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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