Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
