I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
