Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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