..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
MIDGETS
????
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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