He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
