Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
