We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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