O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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