My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
